The 2012 EMC Classic-Eight Is Enough!

The 2012 edition of the EMC Classic had many hurdles to overcome this August; The London Olympics were in full swing and CTV television ratings were through the roof with an estimated five million viewers at any given hour... Many of the participants had to juggle their busy schedules in order to participate in the two sanctioned events;The 5.26k run and the traditional last event of the EMC Classic, the nine hole golf tournament...And heavy rain was in the forecast thus threatening the cancellation of the two events for the first time in EMC Classic history...But the EMC Classic committee has never met an obstacle that would sway its optimism and passion for competition and the events future. All those involved stayed positive and kept their fingers crossed as far as Mother Nature was concerned.

Devine Intervention: While storms and heavy rain raged within a 100 kilometre radius, the EMC Classic Gods were looking down on the two events and its participants with nary a drop of rain all day thus sparing the organizers the logistical nightmare of rescheduling the events. The Teams: 2012's EMC Classic's eight participants were split into two teams...The Legends: EMC Vice-Chairman Dan, Quebec Chairman Norm, EMC Treasurer John and newcomer Guy #2 (not his real name)...and The Leaders: EMC Chairman Ed, Scooter, EMC Quebec Vice Chairman Scott and another newcomer, Guy #1 (not his real name).

   5.26k Love-In: The 2012 EMC Classic kicked off with the traditional 5.26k run with five athletes participating...Glen, Guy #2, and Scott were early scratches for personal and physical reasons. Norm, the overwhelming favourite, won the event with a time of 26 minutes. The rest of the field was lead by Guy #1; a gutsy performance by Dan, who was under the weather; a solid run by the Zen inspired Ed who relies on his music for motivation and the ever classy sportsman himself, John, whose no quit attitude was an inspiration for all involved. A teary eyed Scott was quoted as saying "John defines what sport and competition is all about". The 5.26k run represents the true essence of what the EMC Classic is about...A wide range of individuals with varying strengths and weaknesses coming together as one to create inspiration for everyone...Eight men creating a true love-in...In a non gay way of course.

Steroid Controversy?!?: The second and last event of the EMC Classic was the afternoon nine hole golf tournament. First foursome was Scott, Guy #1, John and Guy #2, followed by Ed, Glen, Norm and Dan. Normally golf and the results would be the main topic of discussion after nine exhausting holes of play. Indeed John and Guy #2 beat Scott and Guy #1, up one hole; Glen and Ed won by three against the inconsistent team of Norm and Dan...An emotional and mentally exhausted Ed snapped at Scott telling him "I told you all you had to do is win by two and the EMC Classic trophy is ours!"...Chairman Ed later apoligized for his uncharacteristic outburst...but the murmurs amongst a few athletes had begun: Some of the athletes were good golfers...a little TOO good. It all started when Dan said off the record that he had never seen anyone hit the ball as far as the two Guys and was it possible that they were getting "a little extra help?". Scott, who played with both "Guys" in his foursome echoed the words of Dan, saying "Something is rotten in Denmark; Where there's smoke there's fire and If it's too good to be true, it usually is" (Scott loves his expressions). Norm commented if these "Guys" aren't natural, there has to be an investigation. The one person not saying a lot or questioning their abilities was the Chairman, Ed. Could it be that the Chairman, who brought the two "Guys" in to participate for the first time, is behind some kind of conspiracy and cover-up? Why were the two "Guys" real names never revealed; why did the two "Guys" leave the golf course immediately after the event and not participate in the after party?...Maybe to avoid drug testing?; why did Dan and Scooter leave early the following morning without saying goodbye?...Maybe the Chairman paid them hush money to avoid scandal; did Ed try to divert everyones attention by putting the two "Guys" on separate teams so the fix wouldn't look obvious? Quebec Chairman Norm said in an interview Monday that a full and impartial investigation will be headed by Scott, John and himself. Let's hope that there is nothing to the claims of "a little help" in order to win and that the EMC Classic has not lost its innocence.

And The 2012 EMC Is Awarded To: Congratulations to The Legends and their win in the 5th EMC Classic. The Chairman proudly presented the award to 5.26k legend Norm proclaiming him the MVP of the event and a certain Hall of Famer when his eligibility begins in five years. The Chairman also had a major announcement to make.

I LoVermont!!!: EMC Classic Chairman Ed could not contain himself...He was bursting at the seams..."The 2013 EMC Classic is awarded to...(Undisclosed location) Vermont!!!" The EMC athletes were in utter disbelief. What started five years earlier as a week-end of golf and drinking in Canada had evolved into a week-end of golf and drinking in...Another country!!! Dan was quoted as saying "We have really come a long way"...Scott said "It's like we've done a total 360 with this competition"...John said "Scott, you mean a 180"...Scott said "Oh ya, I always get those mixed up."

Food And Beverage Review: On the menu before golf was sausage, sausage and more sausage...A real sausage fest of sorts...John was in charge of the barbeque and though he had a little trouble starting the BBQ, he put his heart and soul into cooking those sausages...He was careful not to mix the Brats with the honey dijons and was extra careful with the pesky Italians. Once the sausages were ready to eat, we couldn't get enough of them...Scott and Ed had two at once and were tempted to have three...But we had a golf game to play. There was plenty Coors Light and wine for all thanks to Ed and his fine taste. The dinner was fantastic, consisting of lean hamburgers and salads. Simple, nutritious and hearty. A meal fit for champions! Overall grade: A+

When The Music's Over: One of the most anticipated moments of the EMC week-end is the music selection. The Chairman has always made this his personal pet project and THE most important aspect to the Closing Ceremonies. Ed added a new dimension to the music for this years event...Accompanied with a music video. This revolutionary idea had never been attempted and it was a very risky decision by the famously autocratic Chairman. The consensus of all involved was...It was a smashing success! It was nice to place the faces to the music...Music that Scott said "90% of which I've never heard"...Who cares...Who wouldn't want to see some booty accompanied by the words "Shake that thang." My only critisism would be to play a little more classic rock and '80's music. Overall grade: A-

  Eight Is Enough: Quebec Vice Chairman Scott and EMC Chairman Ed were seen by others having a very private and serious discussion. The whole conversation could not be heard but Quebec Chairman Norm, eves dropping on the two, was able to quote the following;

Scott: "Ed, I think that we have reached our limit as far as participants go; eight is enough."

Ed: "I agree...hey eight is enough like the show Eight Is Enough."

Scott: "Ya, I remember Eight Is Enough."

Ed: "What was the name of the little kid...I can't remember."

Scott: "I know the actors name is Adam Rich but I can't remember his name on the show."

Ed: "Hmmm."

Scott: "I do remember Tommy."

Ed: "Oh, right...He was also on Charles In Charge."

Scott: "That's right! Who played the father on the show."

Ed: "You mean Charles In Charge?"

Scott: "No,Eight Is Enough."

Ed: "Wasn't that Dick Van Dyke?"

Scott: "No Dick Van Dyke was on...jeez, what was he on?"

Ed: "Well I know he was on Matlock but he was famous for something else."

Scott: "Dick Van Patten!!!"

Ed: "Oh ya, right...He was good." Eight Is Enough...yup...good show.

To all involved In the 2012 EMC Classic...It was a blast...See you next year and keep training!!!